Connectedness

Dartmouth Medical School did a study concluding that children’s brains are “hardwired to connect”. The report states that “more kids than ever suffer from depression, anxiety, and attention deficit and conduct disorders”. The report went on to say that “the lack of connectedness in society” is partially to blame.

I believe the same is true for adults. Without close relationships in our lives, stress and anxiety levels are more likely to increase. Yet, in our technological society, close relationships are becoming harder and harder to maintain. We smile when we see people sitting at the same table buried in their iPhones rather than talking; then we realize that sometimes we do the same thing.

Meaningful and balanced relationships are essential to living a healthy life. When these relationships are broken, the impact on everyone is enormous. God created us for relationships; we are created for a relationship with God and relationships with others.

While we all appreciate the tremendous advances in our technological society, one of the down sides is that human touch and relationships may suffer. It is a must, especially in our hectic-paced world, that we take time, quantity and quality, to speak to each other face-to-face, pray together, play together, have meals together, and serve with each other.

Apart from your family, Life Groups provide you a positive relational connection. Simply put, we need each other. People to talk to face-to-face, serve together, interact with about life and faith, pray together, have fun together. Our Savior came into the world of failures, dysfunction, and loneliness so that we could know and love God but also love one another.

In our high-tech world we need to be in high-touch. Relationships are first learned and then modeled in the home. Are you struggling in your relationships? If you are I want to encourage you to do three things.

First, be honest about your relationships. Do you have a support base of those you talk with, share with, serve with, and have fun with? Remember, be honest with yourself.

Second, ask God to give you the power to strengthen your relationships beyond your family. Let others know how much you appreciate them, plan to spend time with them beyond texting. Remember, be in high-touch.

Third, get involved in a Life Group. In January 2016 there is another opportunity for you to join a Life Group. You may have to try several before you really connect with people, but you must try. Your goal is to have relationships which are mutually joyful and enriching, and which don’t depend on an iPhone. Remember, Life Group sign-up is in January. Let’s fulfill what God created us for- relationships.

P.S. Why did Jesus come to earth? What we think Jesus’ purpose was and what it really was might be a little different. Join us Sunday at 9:15 or 11:00 to consider 4 reasons Jesus came that you might not have thought about before. Bring a friend with you!

Do you need a tech diet?

Someone changed the words to the familiar “Jingle Bells” to fit our modern day culture. Here are the new words:

                           Dashing though the snow with a high-def touchscreen display;
                           O’er the fields we go, tweeting and texting all the way.
                           Bells on smartphones ring, making bandwidth bright,
                           What fun it is to stare and cling to a virtual world tonight

We have replaced tinsel and mistletoe with smartphones, tablets, computers, and social media. My two year old granddaughter knows how to turn on my iPhone (Yes, I have one- Jesus would too if he lived on earth today.) and play games on it.

72% of children ages 8 and younger have used a mobile device with 17% using the device daily. Technology itself is not dangerous, and can be an important tool for our children’s education. But my concern is when we allow technology to get in between our parenting and relationships; then there will be problems.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a statement saying children are “spending more time with media than they are in school… more time with media than any activity other than sleeping… media has taken over the primary role of teaching kids from schools and parents.”

The AAP says the average 8-10 year old nearly spends 8 hours a day with a variety of different media. They go on to note that excessive media use has been associated with obesity, lack of sleep, school problems, aggression, and other behavior issues.

Let me pause to emphasize: I am not knocking down the value of technology in education, parenting, or in business. I am not saying we shouldn’t use the technology available to us. What I am saying is: watch your media diet, especially this time of year.

What might that diet look like? First, plan ahead for family time. Instead of hours of phones, tablets, and computers, do things as a family. You can decorate the tree, take a hike, prepare a meal together, play a game, do a puzzle, or shop and wrap gifts- turn the equipment off for a while.

Second, plan ahead for tech time. I am not asking you to go on a starvation diet, just limit your time on the computer. Don’t let technology replace your presence with family and friends.

Third, reach out and touch someone, literally. Touch is a vital human need. Talk to your children, friends, spouse with eyeball to eyeball, uninterrupted (no technology) communication. Talk about life, Jesus, Christmas, family issues, school, or work.

Time, touch, and talk; let’s implement these things this Christmas.


Blessings, 

P.S. Christmas is a joyful, fun, and celebrative time for many, but a depressing, lonely, and sad time for others. How can you discover the balance of Christmas? Join us this week and discover “The How.” Worship with us at 9:15 or 11:00. Bring a friend- it’s Christmastime!

Last Friday, I watched in horror the terrorist attacks on Paris. I had flashbacks to the horror of 14 years ago when terrorists attacked our own nation- America. I think it’s hard to disagree that this will be a decades-long struggle with radical Islamists.

I am not looking to give you some political ideology or what I believe would be a great military strategy in the fight against terrorism. Rather, I want to give you some Biblical advice on how we, as Christ-followers, respond in the midst of painful times.

The things I am sharing have come from a blog I read last weekend from someone I respect highly. His name is Ed Stetzer, and his advice on a Christian response to terrorism is spot-on. Specifically, as it relates to what took place in Paris, he says:

     1) Pray. Pray for families. Pray for Paris (which we did on Sunday in our church services).
         He then adds: Pray for Muslims. Pray for our enemies. It is not easy, but it is our
         calling.

     2) Love the hurting. Even where we sit, we can love the French and “weep with those who
         weep” (Romans 12:15). It was the French newspaper, Le Monde, that said in the
         aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, “We are all Americans now.” Well, today, we are all
         Parisians.

     3) Love our enemies. This is what makes the Christian faith unique. President Obama
         said it well, “This is an attack on all of humanity.” When you let that sink in, you would
         have to admit that love is not our natural feeling, but love is what we are called to
         anyway. (Read and contemplate Matthew 5:43-45.)

     After the events of last weekend, when a ‘love your enemies’ response is hard to come by
     or when memories of 14 years ago resurface, we have to do more than give lip service to
     the things I’ve listed above. We have to make a commitment to resist certain things.
     There are three things we should not do as Christians:

     1) We should not hate. Our human nature wants to hate those who destroy so many lives.
         We feel an anger towards an evil we cannot control. But the truth is, we are people who
         live with hope and live with a mission. We cannot hate a people and reach a people at
         the same time. Pray that your heart is protected from hate.

     2) We should not take out anger on refugees. The immigrants streaming across Europe
         are trying to escape radical Islamists; they are not the enemy. Of course, we need better
         security knowing that terrorists may very well try to infiltrate such refugees, but most
         refugees want to protect their families. Don’t start placing blame or drawing
         conclusions on innocent people who need protection.

     3) We should not call for war with Islam. What do I mean? I do not think that interfaith
         cooperation is helpful, but multi-faith understanding can be. I do not believe Muslims
         and Christians pray to the same God, but all people need Jesus including Hindus,
         Muslims, and Atheists. That is the part that makes us Evangelicals.

I want to see Muslims come to Christ (just as they want to win me to Islam), and we can’t do that by going to war with a billion people. The vast majority of Muslims are not terrorists. As I said at the beginning- I’m not writing about the appropriate government response- I’m writing about the Christ-followers’ response.

Let’s make sure the responses have been tempered by the fruit of the Spirit instead of human emotion. Don’t get caught up in debates and anger. Let us remember that ‘God is in control’.


Blessings, 

P.S. Are you content? Why? Why not? What would make you content? More money? A better job? How can I be content and happy? Answers to these questions and much, much more are headed your way this Sunday at 9:15 and 11:00.

A Story of Rabbit Hunting

Thirty plus years ago a man named Carlos Montoya was out rabbit hunting in order to provide his family with some extra food. As he was walking around the rocky hillside close to his home, he began to pray. He asked God to give him a vision for the city of Ensenada. He continued to pray daily that God would work so a greater kingdom work occured in his town of 30,000 people. He prayed and waited. And he prayed some more.  
Prayer submits to the source of all power: Christ alone. That is why we typically end our prayers with the words, “In Jesus name.” This reminds us that He is the all-powerful God and works everything after the counsel of His good pleasure.

However, just because we say the words does not mean we have submitted to Christ’s authority. Effective, life-transforming ministry never comes through the power of man, but through the power of God. Man is simply a conduit through which God works.

Prayer- robust prayer – is a tool by which we keep the conduit free of obstruction and full of faith. Author and Pastor E.M. Bounds once wrote, “Prayer puts God’s work in His hands- and keeps it there.”

Truly, you have no ministry if your ministry has no prayer. Did God answer Pastor Montoya’s prayers? Did God honor the prayers of a man while rabbit hunting?

Two churches are still thriving from those prayers. A school to train people to go out and make Disciples is growing. Each year the school trains 80-90 students. They never advertise, and yet people come from all over Mexico to be trained. A weekly T.V. ministry preaches the Good News to the people of Ensenada. A group of pastors gather together weekly to pray for their city (now 750,000 people).

God is at work. Lives are being transformed. Addictions are being healed. Marriages are being restored. And even when there appears to be very little of this world’s goods- God supplies.

Yes- God honored the prayers of Carlos Montoya. What are you asking Him to do through you? Great things He will do when we ask Him. I had the opportunity to witness firsthand how God answered the prayers of Carlos. Pastor Robb and I spent the week there teaching in the school. All I can say is to God be the glory great things He has done! And it all started with prayer.

Blessings, 

P.S. Does some worry have you captured? Are you so stressed that you are overwhelmed? Do you feel trapped and you don’t see any way out? You must come to church this week and bring a friend to discover how to live worry-free and stress-free. See you at 9:15 and 11:00.

Hey, Brother!

It’s happening to me more and more.  Everybody tells me it just goes with growing older.  I hope that is not an easy excuse for it.  What am I talking about?  Remembering someone’s name.

I talk to many people in church weekly, perhaps I talk to you every week and then it happens.  We bump into each other at the grocery store and panic hits.  I can’t remember your name.  I act like I know your name, know you well, but my mind is blank.

So what can one do to get better with remembering names?  Well, the good news is that you don’t have to be a genius.  Everyone can remember names if they work at it.  Most of us just don’t know how.  So here are some tips I’ve learned along the way.  Remember, you have to work at these.

Step One:  Repeat names.  Repetition builds memory.  When you meet someone for the first time say their name as much as possible.

Step Two:  Read names.  Read a person’s name in your mind.  Visualize it.  Spell it in your head.

Step Three:  Record names.  Write new names down as soon as possible.  Add a note by the name like, “tall, blonde, salesman, works at…”  Keep a database or application with people’s names in it.  Review it occasionally.

Step Four:  Relate names.  Our minds remember images, not words.  Turning a person’s name into an image is the best way to instantly recall it.  Let’s say you meet John Baker – imagine an actual baker in a kitchen putting a toilet (a john) in the oven.  It may sound bizarre but it works.

Step Five:  Remember to remember names.  I know what you’re saying, “Duh!”  Most often, the reason we don’t remember names is simply because we do not consciously make an effort.  We hear the name, but we are too busy thinking about what we are going to say next.

If you think you can’t do all five steps at least concentrate on step four.  If all else fails just honestly say, “I’m sorry, my mind is having a relapse, I forgot your name.”  When they say it, go through the steps.  You only get to use that line one per person.  Have fun remembering names.

Blessings, 

P.S. Ever lied and gotten away with it?  Ever been overlooked by others?  Need to extend some forgiveness to someone who has wronged you?  Would your friends say of you, “She is a person of integrity”?  We will be addressing some of these questions this Sunday at 9:15 and 11:00.  Bring a friend and discover how to be a person everybody trusts.

I read a blog this week from Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church located in California.  He stated that people who have made the greatest impact on this world, for good or bad, are those who had the deepest convictions.  Influencers are not necessarily, the brightest, most educated, wealthiest or most famous, but people of conviction.

This him to say if you’re going to build conviction in your life, you need to build on something that lasts.  Fads change, technology changes, textbooks change as we learn more and more, etc., but the one thing that never changes is the truth of God.  (Take a moment and read Isaiah 40:8)

The church needs to be built on God’s eternal Word.  Here are six convictions of Saddleback Church that are the same convictions we have at First Free.

1.        It’s all about God.  Not you. Not me.  But God.  It’s not about profit, policies or anything else.  Romans 11 reminds us “For everything comes from God alone.  Everything lives by His power.  And everything is intended for His glory.”  He desires to be loved and worshiped above everything else.

2.        Only His church will last forever.  No business, government, nation can claim that.  Jesus said, “I will build my church and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.”  (Matthew 16:18)  The church is worth giving our time – our treasures – our talents – our entire life to.

3.        God expects me to love everybody else, too.  Mark 12 says, “Love your neighbor as yourself;” that means the unlovely, the difficult, the dangerous, the different, even our enemies. (Luke 6:35)

4.        The whole world needs Jesus.  If the world needs Jesus let’s not keep the Good News about Him secret.  We have the cure for the most dreaded disease of all - sin.  Christ came to die for sinners.  This truth ought to change our priorities – not living for myself – but living for Jesus.  (Read Romans 5:8)

5.        Everything is possible with God. (Read Matthew 19:6) Stop saying, “I can’t.” With God at work in you – you can do amazing things.  God gets the most glory when we trust Him for the impossible.

6.        History’s conclusion is inevitable.  One day, hopefully soon, God’s going to wrap it all up here on earth and He’s going to take His children who’ve trusted in Him to heaven forever and ever.  Knowing this we ought to desire to get everybody we can into the kingdom of heaven, where they are going to be for eternity.

May these six convictions compel us all at First Free. Through living out these convictions God gets the glory.

Blessings, 

P.S. Work for a horrible boss?  Is your workplace corrupt?  What are you to do if you are in that kind of situation?  Don’t miss Sunday 9:15 or 11:00 as we uncover and discover the answer to these questions.  Communion will be served.

Is your "hot button" an essential or a non-essential?

There is a phrase that is commonly attributed to Augustine that goes like this:  In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity (love).  I wish this simple little statement would be put into practice for all Christ followers.

Rick Warren pastor of Saddleback church and author of The Purpose Drive Life states it a little differently.  He says that every church needs to identify its absolutes, convictions, and preferences.

Absolutes (essentials) are those things that we will die for no matter the cost such as, the deity of Christ, the virgin birth, the substitutionary atonement of Jesus, the trinity and the inspiration of Scripture.

Convictions are those things that devoted followers have disagreed on for 2,000 years: When does the rapture occur (pre-tribulation, mid-tribulation, post tribulation or pre-wrath)?  Is speaking in tongues necessary in todays’ church, or Calvinism vs. Arminianism?  Honestly, at First Free we have people in all the aforementioned.  Here is where we must be advocates for liberty.

Preferences: style of music, what clothes to wear to church, lighting (bright or darker), can I have a glass of wine at dinner or not, loudness of music, colors, symbols, cross, communion table, podium or pulpit, candles, etc.

Here is my observation of what happens in most churches.  Somebody want to make essentials – non-essentials, and non-essentials, essentials.

Then, we want to fight about it.  I have never had anybody in my 38 years of ministry fight with me over the deity of Christ, the substitutionary atonement or the trinity.  But I have had more that I can count of people picking a fight with me over musical style, colors, and loudness of music, lighting, pulpits, dress and other preferences.

I am reminding all of us there is an absolute (essential) bucket we must submit to and make our guiding compass.  At the same time our personal life choices and desires should not be made into the guiding compass which often is the case.

Love in all things strengthens the church.  No matter what we may believe, there is no excuse for lovelessness toward one another.

Have you identified the essentials? The non-essentials? “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.”

Blessings, 

P.S. How can I have influence in my job (assignment) when I am not the CEO?  How do you lead from the middle?  Don’t miss the answer to these questions this Sunday at 9:45 or 11:00.  Bring a friend and join us.